COVID-19 – Spread via Toilet Paper
3 min read
Here in Australia we seem to have an unparalleled number of people acting Un-Australiann. That’s a polite way of saying someone is an asshole or a fuckwit.
Aussie’s are a people whom pull together, we help each other during times of crisis or hardship. We are all mates and if you, as a fellow Australian, need something I’m there to help you. That’s what Aussies do!
Sadly the COVID-19 outbreak has highlighted just how many fuckwits live in this country.
There is no shortage except the one you created
There is not a shortage of food, beer or anything else in this country and there is no a shortage of toilet paper. Actually there is a shortage and it was caused by morons panicking and stocking up without a care or thought for their fellow Australians.
If you know someone hoarding bog-wipes – bend them over and shove a few rolls up their ass!
Tip: Don’t use lube!
These moronic hoarders have been called out by our Prime Minister and all of our State Premiers on both sides of politics.
The joke is on you assholes!
COVID-19 can spread & thrive on a single sheet of ass-wipes. By hoarding all the bog roll you have increased your chances of getting the virus. Now you’re fucked and it serves you right!
Each time a sheet from your stockpile of shit-paper touches your bottom, or ‘front-bottom’ if you’re female, you are dicing with death. It will be like taking a microscopic suppository allowing the virus to enter your bloodstream faster than usual.
Under normal circumstances the virus will present with very mild symptoms and you wont suffer any more than a mild cold, but for hoarders of butt-wipes, they will suffer more than usual due of the method of entry into their body. When they go to the hospital doctors will be unable to help them because there is no treatment for hoarders (that’s legislated).
Autopsy excerpt:
Official cause of death: Fuckwittery
Sadly, this person died from COVID-19 which entered their body via their rectum. They suffered more than most people would – but on a positive note “Damn their asshole was clean!”
You are like Trump supporters – society has no need for you.
A toilet paper hoarders brain cells can be counted on one hand. Many of them dumber than dog shit and, like Trump supporters, unable to string a sensible sentence together.
Even anti-vaxxers have more intelligence than an these hoarders and that’s saying something because they are not the sharpest tools in the shed. Oh wait… Here’s a thought… When a vaccination for COVID-19 is available I wonder how many anti-vaxxers will get it. They really are dumb fuckers!).
It is the hoarders who have created the empty shelves at supermarkets, not the COVID-19 virus. When the viral threat has died down for everyone else hoarders will still be at risk because they’ve got billions of viral organisms waiting on tiny sheets of paper looking for an asshole to enter.
We don’t have a shortage
My wife and I have not been affected by the empty shelves but I feel sorry for the families with small children & the elderly unable to get what they need because a minority of morons have been so selfish. That’s what’s so un-Australian about this situation.
Send them to jail
Our Prime Minister has said he will come down hard on people trying to sell this stuff online. I’m right behind you there Scomo, lock the fuckers up. Fine them hundreds of thousands of dollars and make them pay for the misery they have created for others. Selfish pricks.
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